Bored to death

Posted: April 1, 2006 in Arbit Thoughts

The thing that I miss the most from my college days is the thrill that life had to offer, the sheer unpredictability of each day, the wat for the day to unfold, and as it does to enlighten us with what it had to offer. The Crests, The troughs, the bends the turns that the road used to make us take; hated them when was there, hate it even more now when they are not around. Believe me nothing is worse than driving on a smooth six lane road, with no obstacles, no humps and no potholes. It almost becomes torturously monotonous. 

So why the hell do I not go ahead and quit my job? I don't really know, maybe its because I am insecure, not about my own abilities, though that too is there,but much more about the fact that I do not have a pedigree to come back to mainstream society later if and when I so choose.

What do i gain from my job? Well, I am financially better off, though marginally, but still am able to hold my own. And I buy time for myself. I am thnakful that I got into a job rather than do MS in computer science as I had actually planned, as I would have soon realised that, what I really want to do is much more than plain Computer Science, and Definitely a whole lot more than Plain Engineering. That way I feel that life is really a great teacher and truly enough Whatever happens Happens for Good!

So what do I plan to do, well for one I definitely plan to do an M.B.A from oneof the best B-Schools in the world. This is the simpler part, things get really complex after this. These are a couple of things I really want to do after that, Lest of all I would never want to 'Settle' in life, unsettled is the way to go for me. 

  1. Go on a Bharat Darshan tour on a car/bike/bus with my travel itenary including atleast one city in every state of my this vast country
  2. Spend some time with Adivasis, hike across the Himalayas, Life a couple of months in Ladakh in peak winter season, go scuba diving in  Andamans and go fishing with fishermen in Chennai.
  3. Start  Private DJing practise,  which would include playing for Luxury lounges on weekdays and Discs on Weekends.
  4. Dabble with a small business of my own,somethingconventional yet with lot of scope, something involving a lot of Human-to-Human Interaction; my pick of the lot is an Automobile Dealership.
  5. Spend some time in New York, New Jersey, Mexico City, Cairo, Jerusalem, Moscow, London, Frankfurt, Singapore, Melbourne and Tokyo; and in the process understand and assimilate their culture, absorb their traditions, analyse and compare and enrich my ideas and beliefs.
  6. Finally, find a life partner who is truly unconventional in all her beliefs, in her thoughts and in her conceptions. One who is able to seperate outgrain from the chaff; see throughthe haze and filter out the relevant the crux, the jist!

I know, this wishlist is absurd and beserk, almost bordering insanity. But must admit it definitely sounds formidably interesting and an infinite times more attractive than the life of a three-piece-suited Investment Banker, my previous long standing ambition. It will definitely be a life well lived, a story worth being told; after all, One life is all we get.

Reminds me of the prophetic lines from 'Agantuk' by Satyajit Ray "Kupamanduk", meaning a frog in a well. A frog which spends his whole life in the dark damp smelly well, fervidly believing that the whole world is just as he sees it, dark damp acrid in odour and slimy on the ends! That's until, one day he falls into one of the buckets which were dipped to fetch water and gets pulled to the surface. This is when the bright sundhine and the dry ground, the lush green trees and the pleasant shade and the colorfully clothed  villagers are visible to him.

Right now I feel like that 'frog' caught up in the well of 'software industry' or rather ' engineers' or even worse 'technology workers'. Wondering, when I will get released to see the outside world, the world which is so big, so huge, so diverse and so different from all what I have ever seen. 

 In this regard, one very interesting blog which I read, wishfully, quite often is here. Do give it a read, and I am sure even you will feel like Freeing your soul to fly far and wide.


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